The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
