his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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