Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
