Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
