Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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