is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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