Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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