you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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