I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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