you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
