Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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