Cold hands, warm shart.
I puked a lego.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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