I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize
