i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
