I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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