It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
