I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
