if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
