We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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