I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
