i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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