I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
