I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
