Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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