Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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