What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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