so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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