Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
