Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
