She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
