Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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  (516): I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos. http://tfl.nu/v11h
  Replies (8) Good night (1758) Bad night (580)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

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  (303): .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate http://tfl.nu/8kdy
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (4047)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.

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  (315): Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever. http://tfl.nu/us8u
  Replies (26) Good night (962) Bad night (5135)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (7088) Bad night (2631)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?

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  (617): so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/c421
  Replies (60) Good night (1440) Bad night (6996)
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  (585): View more from New York

  with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

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  (585): with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible http://tfl.nu/x1el
  Replies (8) Good night (4247) Bad night (1610)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

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  (816): He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man http://tfl.nu/qpf8
  Replies (18) Good night (4223) Bad night (1078)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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  (414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq
  Replies (9) Good night (2406) Bad night (950)
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  (661): View more from California

  he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".

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  (661): he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard". http://tfl.nu/69oo
  Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (594)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him

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  (859): I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him http://tfl.nu/eehd
  Replies (10) Good night (1250) Bad night (549)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.

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  (720): I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo. http://tfl.nu/cdzc
  Replies (17) Good night (1485) Bad night (708)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.

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  (813): I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex. http://tfl.nu/7adn
  Replies (2) Good night (2026) Bad night (1019)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?

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  (505): did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy? http://tfl.nu/wq3k
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (583)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for caring about my cervix.

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  (616): Thank you for caring about my cervix. http://tfl.nu/akl3
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (332)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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  (440): She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot http://tfl.nu/ybed
  Replies (6) Good night (651) Bad night (868)

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