I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
