Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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