Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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