so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
