Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
