Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
