That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
