...so i touched it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
this will be a night to untag.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
