My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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