i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
