You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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