I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
