Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
