i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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