Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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