He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
