Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Mom said you looked used
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
