I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
