you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize