oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
