If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize