I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
