Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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