why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
