I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
