ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
