I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
