he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
