It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
