I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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