My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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