Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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