Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
